Recently Amazon made news with their first semi-public delivery by drone. It went to a lawn in southern California, where the MARS 2017 conference was taking place. Amazon Prime Air will eventually be able to deliver small packages in 30 minutes or less, using drones that can travel up to 50 mph, within a 10 mile radius of the warehouse.

While we are excited about a future when sunscreen can reach you that quickly, there are concerns about drones.

Has Amazon considered the clear and present danger of eagles? The French Air Force has proven that these birds of prey can easily take out a drone.  So it’s possible that your delivery could be delayed by the powerful talons of a raptor.

That’s why we have decided to train eagles to deliver our orders. It’s more natural than robots, and in keeping with our company mission. So we are working with contacts in France to bring the Armée de l’Air trainers to the United States to begin the eagle program.

This is in the earliest stages, but in the future, your chorizo, duck breast or pork chops could arrive by eagle carrier.

We just have to make our packaging eagle proof, so your order is not devoured en route.

No eagles were harmed in the writing of this April Fools’ Day post.